Snow it All - a blog for those in the snow

Monday, September 3

The white killer - when snow turns nasty

Miss SIA must confess, her biggest fear as a skier is to die in an avalanche. When talking about them outloud she believes she is jinxing herself, convinced that when next she ventures off piste she will be trapped by the great White Dragon. She knows she has more chance of being hit by a bus but there's been a lot of talk of avalanches lately.

An Australian died in Gulmarg, India earlier this year, caught in an avalanche. Thredbo Ski Patrol helped save 22 Japanese skiers in an avalanche in Northern Japan in February and a ski patroller ended up in hospital in New Zealand this year at Mt Olympus, also due to an avalanche.

Snow may look pretty but step on it the wrong way and it unleashes one nasty roar with a killer temper...

Thursday, August 30

What goes on tour goes on the blog - Heli Yeah!!

I love the sound of a chopper in the morning when fresh powder is a calling. It's been known to ruin relationships as powderhounds search for the ultimate fresh lines, leaving their girlfriends, boyfriends, wives and husbands behind. Snow whores will sell their soul for the good stuff. As the saying goes, there are no friends on a powder day.

The true powder barons are heli pilots. They hold the key to the ultimate rush because once you've had heli skiing you can't go back . . .

Monday, August 27

Snow Cents - why skiing and boarding costs more at home

Snow pockets down under are traditionally deep pockets. Little Miss Snow It All is constantly listening to skiers complaining about the cost of skiing and snowboarding in Australia and New Zealand.

If it's not the $90 plus lift pass, it's the $4.50 for a bottle of water on the mountain you can get for $1.50 at the supermarket in Sydney. Then there's the accommodation cost peak season when rooms the size of a matchbox go for $400 a night not to mention boots, skis, outerwear.

Little Miss Snow It All says, do the math. There's a reason we pay more for our snow down under if you read between the numbers...

Monday, August 20

Snow Lies - why the ski industry can't tell the truth

The ski industry relies on Snow Lies to entice us out of the office and down to the snow.

When a resort says it received sixty centimetres overnight you have to wonder where they measured the snowfall - from a windswept stack of snow at the peak of the mountain against a tree or from the base village? I do wonder who measures snow depth, a man or a woman? We all know there are centimetres and then there are male centimetres often embellished.

Snow lies are like non truths, they may not be 100% correct but they're not 100% wrong either. Manipulating snow facts is an art most resorts around the world indulge in simply to survive.

So how do you cut through the pile of snow and get the real deal?

Thursday, August 16

What goes on tour goes on the blog - Thredbo, sex on ski legs

It's the quiet ones you have to watch out for.

Charlotte Pass may be a family resort but Miss Snow It All's twenty four hours at the Kosciuszko Chalet were far from G Rated and I'm not talking about the imposed nudie run in the pool comp when she lost with seven of her own balls still on the table.

Oh the shame, the shame. Which is why she arrived at Thredbo in need of a panadol and a good lie down. "What goes on in Thredbo stays in Thredbo" is the marketing catch cry of this village conjuering up images of all night orgies with snow bunnies in nothing but yeti boots and a smile.

Miss Snow It All was looking forward to drinking French champagne from her own stilettos, beating off male ski instructors with a well worn stock and leaving her lipstick mark at bars across the village. The tour was coinciding with her birthday after all.

Instead she found surprises she wasn't looking for...

Monday, August 13

Best in snow - winners and losers

Little Miss Snow It All loves an award. The chance to frock up, ride the red carpet and bask under a spotlight. With six weeks to go till the end of the snow season, it's time to start thinking who's been good and who's been bad.

Nominations are open for the first annual Best In Snow awards. Bribes (think French champagne) will be considered as 'gifts' and returned once opened.

Soooo who do you think is making the grade this snow season?

Friday, August 10

What goes on tour goes on the blog - Perisher Blue

Snow does things to people. They say it's the altitude, or perhaps it's the Jaigermeisters (no, I don't have a sponsorship with the Jaigie company despite putting the company directors kids through school).

Perisher Blue's Wild Winter Weekend is living proof of how far those in the snow will go to for a laugh. Near naked men and women in wacky get ups leaping off snow jumps into a two metre deep pit of freezing water is guaranteed a laugh, even if Miss Snow It All did get her own locks wet from splashback when standing too close to the action.

It's been a long time between winters and a while since Miss Snow It All stepped foot upon Perisher Blue snow. What a weekend and what a season to take on the 1245 hectares of untracked powder perfection with first lifts...

Monday, August 6

World's Best Apres - on the piss off the piste

To some snow hounds, apres equals sex. If they got some then the town rates high on the apres-metre.

To others it's about the variety of bars despite the fact the drink of choice remains the same, Jaigermeister. Loved up couples on tour, meanwhile, insist it's about an open fire, bottle of red wine and some shag pile carpet which is why you rarely see them.

Apres is all about sharing the days ski tales, boasting about fresh lines and swapping war stories from trips gone by. It usually involves a happy hour of some description and where you'll find happy hour you'll find ski instructors begging for booze from worn out clients.

Miss Snow It All has put together her own top ten apres destinations, ski instructors are optional...

Thursday, August 2

What goes on tour goes on the blog - Falls Creek

The mood was set at Falls Creek when Little Miss Snow It All arrived in time for a spectacular sunset skidoo tour filled with romance. I'd been promised 350 men ready to party, I was just never promised they'd be a) sober or b) single.

It was the annual Age Corporate Race and the odds were supposed to be in my favour 340 guys and 10 women and more corporate credit cards than an Anthony Robbins convention. Turned out half of them were more interested in piss than piste and their only race was the one to the bar.

Thank god for Winter Olympian Steve Lee, one of only three Australians to win a ski World Cup, and all round Falls Creek legend....

Monday, July 30

Snow divide - Australia vs New Zealand

Every Kiwi knows Sir Edmund Hillary, the first man to conquer the world's tallest hill. We may not be able to beat that but we can still stand proud when it comes to Australians on mountains. It was an Aussie who was the first non-European to win a ski race world cup. Malcolm Milne took the honours in Val D'Isere in 1969. Steve Lee grabbed his World Cup title in Furano in 1985 and Zali Stegell did it again in 1997.

Not that we're competitive. They started it first. How? By infiltrating the Australian world of snow with tales of big mountain resorts a mere three hours away by plane. Once devout Australian winter loyalists turned their back on the snow gums and headed across the ditch in search of deeper powder pastures.

But when it comes to Australia vs Kiwi ski resorts do they really have us beaten?

Thursday, July 26

What goes on tour goes on the blog - Mt Hotham

Photo: Jane Burke, 62, snowboarder. Mt Hotham.

It's best not to mention the war, at least last year. The ski season of '06 down under was a non event, more rock climbing and dirt scooting than snow sliding.

Resorts talked it up with a smile, hoping punters weren't bright enough to check the web cams and see the real conditions for themselves. This season it's another story. With record snow falls around the country the battle of '06 is forgotten.

Little Miss Snow It All is a sceptical skier, when a resort says it has over two metres she imagines they've measured the snow piled against the window by snowcats and wind. Her mission this season is to visit six Australian resorts before heading to New Zealand's mighty South Island and see the conditions for herself.

First stop: Mt Hotham in Victoria.

Monday, July 23

Personaliski - which one are you?

The snow attracts all sorts of characters from off beat and out there to cliched ski bunny and boarder stereotypes. Most tend to hang with their own as like attracts like and there's safety in numbers.

Brands are the new horoscope, revealing more about you by what you wear and who you choose to ski or board. I'm an Elan with a K2 rising, my moon is in Burton, my sun in Volcom with a DC persuasion and Dragon is my birth stone. Translated? I'm a loudmouth with look at me tendencies who can't let go of her youth.

It's easy to spot snow gangs from the chairlift. There's the snow nazi, the ski snob, the single above the snowline, tight arse trippers and at least eight more.

You just need to know what you're looking for...

Tuesday, July 17

Save mountains of cash - the world's cheapest ski resorts

It's five weeks into the ski season and already I've spent $2300 before stepping on the snow. If I wasn't such a fashion tragic that figure would be reduced by $1500 and I'd be skiing in last season's colours, without a helmet, in one desperately needed pair of new ski boots.

Kitted out, I'm now ready to spend another $480 on a six day lift pass and $800-plus on accommodation. My booze bill for the week will no doubt equal the homeland security budget, food won't be far behind and we haven't even got to petrol and parking.

Skiing and snowboarding doesn't have to be this expensive. Apparently there are ways to ski on the cheap, you just have to know where...

Tuesday, July 10

Piste idiots - snow way to behave

We've all acted like knobs at the snow, or witnessed someone doing the same. What is it about a ski and snowboarding holiday that makes us think we're untouchable?

One 'friend' of mine actually stole a groomer, yes that's right a six tonne snow grooming machine, while on ski holiday in Canada. This woman has never even had a parking ticket in her home town! Thinking no one would notice her and her monster truck, and in need of a lift home, she groomed a trail for the police to her door.

Another well behaved princess dropped her Prada slacks and tried urinating her phone number onto the snow outside Beaver Creek's most toffee nosed diner. Let's just say lemon sorbet wasn't a winner on the dessert menu that night.

Some blame the altitude, others swear their Ghluwein was spiked. I call it Brain Freeze, an integrity threatening condition only found at the snow. What goes on snow tour stays on snow tour, right? Not any more, read on and see...

Tuesday, July 3

Head bangers unite - world's best ski & snowboard stacks

WIN a ski and snowboarding trip to Thredbo and some cool gear...see below.

Ski and snowboard fields are funniest home video sets just waiting to happen. I wounded my first ski instructor's manhood when skiing into his nether regions, my helmet head making impact at warp speed as I took a tumble. Let's just say he won't be naming his first born after me, if he could have one.

Then there was my yard sale (named so for leaving all equipment and clothing in one's wake while crashing) in full view of the chairlift. I know, serves me right for skiing under it.

But the really hot stacks, those gut wrenching I-hope-he-has-medical-insurance style numbers happen in the extreme terrain. It's good to know when you're arse over tit buried in snow that even the professionals have a bad day...

Tuesday, June 26

World's best ski and snowboard bragging destinations

Ever met someone when they've come back from Aspen? They drop Aspen into conversation like a newly loved up teenager drops in her boyfriends name at every opportunity. "Would you like sugar in your coffee" may be met with "Aspen has coffee." I call it mentionitis. The ability to bring any conversation back to your favoured topic.

The snowsports industry relies on mentionitis, only they call it 'boasting rights'. Those hero ski and boarding destinations that give one kudos and make friends eyes glaze over in envy. So, which resorts rate on the world schuss-o-meter? Here's my must do locations to ski or board before you hang up the plank/s for good.

Tuesday, June 19

War and Piste

The battle between skiers and boarders. Bitch fest or love in?

Click image to watch Snow It All TV's streetword on War and Piste

ONCE UPON A TIME there was alpine skiing, a sport reserved for the entitled who used their silver spoon to eat snow each winter. Those with private ski lodges, goggle tans and family trusts were at the front of the lift queue, those in rental gear and borrowed parkas at the back.

Then along came snowboarding in the stealth of night, entering the mountain through the back door. The battle had begun and all the elite had to protect them was that same well worn family set of silver spoons...

Tuesday, June 12

Snow - a four letter word for sex

You never forget your first time.

Mine was in Thredbo and he treated me bad, blindfolding me with a blanket of fog, whipping me with a harsh north easterly and leaving me beaten, bruised and begging for mercy. I went back to him of course, despite the bruises. We Snow lovers are a masochistic breed.

About Rachael

Rachael Oakes-Ash is a ski tragic.

Her favourite position is downhill and her preferred mode of transport a chopper.

Her ski blog is
published in
in Melbourne and the

in Sydney.

More about Rachael…

Rachael dreams of having a ski named after her by K2. Stand by for the Rach Luv.

... and wears Dragon Googles

For snow reports around the world visit